Friday, January 31, 2014

Hibernation

It pains me, almost physically, that it has been almost 3 months since I've dusted off this little dot-com of mine, and poured my heart out onto the page.

There is no one reason that the blog posts fell by the wayside. It isn't like 2013, and 2012 for that matter, weren't already "dry" years.  They were. And if I so chose, I could explain why and what triggered that.  I never meant for that silence to become permanent.  I still don't.  I don't think.

But maybe...I don't know.  Maybe I really need to rethink what I want this blog to be.  It has taken on so many personalities over the years: a simple here-is-what-is-going-on-with-my-high-risk-pregnancy, to a family scrapbook, to a place to grieve, back to a scrapbook, and now....

Now, the "everyday" is hard to keep up with.  To take time to post the simple happenings of my day seems frivolous, and to MAKE time to craft the posts that I really want to write....that just simply seems impossible.

And while I try to figure it out -- what I want this site to be, not only to me, but to my readers (if there are any left), to -- life continues to come at me in unbelievable, warp-speed ways.

No, seriously.

Since my last post:
  •  Jim spent a week on the neurology floor of the hospital after we were told he'd had a stroke.  At 33.  (Final ruling was that it wasn't actually a stroke.  But still.  I can't unhear those words in the ER as they rushed him away from me on a gurney: "Mrs. Gregory, it appears your husband has had a stroke.  You did the right thing....  We'll do everything we can..."
  • My father was diagnosed with cancer.  The details are his to share.  But I can at least say, it was still a diagnosis we were not expecting, and the rapid nature in which treatment and surgery and recovery have followed have been mind-boggling.
  • Seth broke his wrist 2 days after Christmas, and we learned that he has some pretty extensive vision issues.  As I write this, he has already gotten his cast off, and we are all adjusting to Seth-with-glasses, but at the time...it was a lot to handle.
  • I've taken my first international trip, to London.
  • Tiffany was involved in a serious car accident that, while she herself was wonderfully, providentially protected, totaled her car.  An entire week of our January seemed to just evaporate in the wake of that, and car shopping, and recovery.
  • Tiffany and I have both been struck down with not only influenza but also strep.  NO FUN.
I could add more.  No, really.  I know it's hard to believe.  But there is more.  And I know that each incident isn't that life-altering in and of itself.  But when it comes one thing after another.  And then you factor in the season -- the trifecta that is Thanksgiving-Seth's birthday-Christmas -- while all of this is going on.  Oh, and did I mention that we Ohioans are experiencing the worst winter in history?  Seth has only been to school 8 days since December 20.  EIGHT.

This really wasn't the post that I wanted to write tonight.  That flu/strep double-punch I mentioned up there is real time -- I got my diagnosis just yesterday, and I'm currently propped up in bed regretting my dinner choice.  But I thought it past time to reappear here and let anyone out there still reading that things have just been heavy over in these parts.  Overall, everyone is well and I'm okay, truly.  I just....

Yeah.  I'm finding my way back, I hope.