Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A new trend?

One of the blogs I read is written by an also-pregnant mommy-to-be. Weekly, she does a little recap of how her pregnancy is going.

Although it's not hard to discover the origin of WriterChic, it has developed, since Seth's birth, into a family/me blog, rather than a pregnancy/baby blog. And of course, now that I have readers who are neither pregnant nor parents, I've tried, somewhat conscientiously, to keep this from becoming a blog "all about the baby," (which, of course, if you deduce from some recent posts, hasn't been all that hard to do, since I'm still getting used to the entire IDEA of Itty Bitty).


I realize I don't talk a lot about Itty Bitty or his/her pregnancy. But I also don't want to someday look back on this 8 month window and feel like I "cheated" him/her out of his/her time in the family spotlight.

So, in an attempt to rectify that, I'm going to (try to faithfully) do weekly summaries of where Itty Bitty and I are at.

Here, a little bit overdue, is this recap for this week:

How far along? 17 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Down 4 lbs from my first obgyn weigh-in.

Maternity clothes? Only if I feel like it, because I have some really cute spring and summer maternity clothes. But out of necessity? Nope, not yet. Even my regular clothes are loose.

Stretch marks? Nope.

Sleep: Only with the help of Ambien, several times a week, per Dr. Morgan's orders. It is the ONLY way I'm getting enough rest to stay healthy and keep up with Seth.

Best moment this week: Feeling Itty Bitty move for the first time.

Movement: Yep, and only a day behind when I felt Seth. Until they are definite kicks, etc., I really get creeped out by the feeling....but what can you do?

Food cravings: Have been getting sick again with almost anything I eat this week, so, I'm back to wanting only lemonade.

Gender: Gut still says girl. Only 14 days til we know.

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out? In

What I miss: Sleeping well, not being sick, having more energy to run after Seth.

What I am looking forward to: Out ultrasound on the 15th.

Weekly Wisdom: n/a

Milestones: Fetal movement.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rock the Vote

I've added a new widget to the blog, just for fun.

Underneath my pregnancy ticker (right sidebar), you'll see a place to cast your vote.

So, what do you think? Is Itty Bitty going to be Seth's little brother or sister? I'm leaving the poll open until April 15, when we'll get the official verdict from Dr. Morgan.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Temporary Insanity

One of the things I love most about blogging is the chance to reconnect and stay in touch with some of my college girlfriends.

One of my favorite ex-PCC lady friend bloggers is Jeanette at Temporary Insanity. She is an uber-talented mommy of three who makes time to tend her kiddies, blog, and run a super cute Etsy shop.

In honor of her one hundredth post, she is doing a fun, kind of secretive giveaway, once she gets 100 comments. See, isn't she clever?

So, please, if you're a Writer Chic reader, take a few minutes to visit Jeanette at her 100th post, and leave her a hello.

152, -4, 140/80, 4/15

Here are the stats from this morning's appointment:

Itty Bitty gave us a quick scare when we weren't able to readily or easily find his/her heartbeat, but after some not-so-gentle prodding, Dr. Morgan came up with a healthy, steady 152 beats per minute. Although down significantly from the 180s, it is still much higher than Seth's 130s, so even Dr. Morgan is holding to her prediction that Itty Bitty is a girl.

I have lost an additional 4 lbs since my last visit, which puts me down about 10 for the pregnancy. Dr. Morgan didn't seem overly concerned, but said that I shouldn't lose any more weight. She is okay if I don't gain for the next month, but that we may need to do some digging if I lose more weight by my next appointment.

My blood pressure, which I suspected was misbehaving, was 140/80. Not alarmingly high, but high enough to raise the nurses eyebrows. The plan is for me to take it as easy as possible in the next week, acquire a cuff to monitor at home, and stay hydrated. If it is up again at my next appointment, I will most likely be put on some BP meds. Boo.

No ultrasound today, but Jim and I have an appointment scheduled with both the ultrasound technician and Dr. Morgan for early Wednesday, April 15. Only three weeks until we can see Itty Bitty again, and hopefully find out if s/he is our son or our daughter.

In the meantime, Seth, I think, finally just dozed off for his nap, and as soon as I hit "publish post," I'm off to join him.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Looking back

Thank you so much for you support and kind response to my last post. I know that I sent the mothers into a tailspin of worry when I publish posts like that, but it really, really helps me to get it out on "paper," and honestly, sometimes it helps for Jim to read my words in bloggyland before we talk. Usually, when we talk it's me going around in circles for an hour, so this way, he gets some frame of reference if I tend to get emotional and confusing. (who, me?)

We ended up having a really good heart-to-heart on Friday night, and were blessed with three nights of easy bedtime routines for Seth (we've decided to prep for the toddler bed); a great family day on Saturday with a trip to Costco and chores around the house; and since our Sunday School teacher was AWOL at the Bristol Nascar race, we had a leisurely Sunday morning with strawberry french toast and some snuggle time in bed with Seth.

I'm willing away the next several hours until I can head in for my obgyn appointment. My excitement is two-fold. My dear friend Sarah and I have back-to-back appointments, so I will FINALLY get to see her and meet her infant daughter Anna Claire. Due to Anna Claire's early arrival, we haven't had the chance to get together since her birth, but tomorrow, I'll finally get to get my hands on that lil peanut.

And of course, my lil peanut-to-be...

As I mentioned earlier, I have just a couple things that I need to share with Dr. Morgan about how I've been feeling (physically) for the last few weeks. I'm hoping, or course, that all is well, but that she will want to order an ultrasound, just to check on things from the inside. If not, I'll have to be satisfied with the doppler heartbeat until our "big ultrasound" in April.

If, however, we are lucky enough to get an ultrasound this week, this is what I'll expect to see:

This is a shot of Seth at 16w2d, exactly how far along I am today. Look at that little profile! Wasn't he gorgeous, even this early? And so smart -- look at that thoughtful pose!

Anyway, I should take advantage of his sweet slumber right now -- it's nap time as I type -- and catch some rest myself. Spring has definitely sprung here in TN, and my allergies are not happy. Maybe a little snooze of my own will help.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update on Itty Bitty.

Happy Monday!

Friday, March 20, 2009

In the trenches

So, hi.

We're here.

It's been a lovely week of spring weather, except for Wednesday, who had an attitude and threw a 40-degree day in the mix. So, lots of time out in the sun, at the park, walking around the neighborhood.

No news on the baby front. I have an ob appointment on Tuesday morning. Having some thoughts and concerns (don't worry, Mom, or anyone else) that I hope will prompt Dr. Morgan to order an ultrasound, but I'm not holding my breath.

Seth is at this very moment screaming at me and pounding on his crib rails, and I'm crying right along with him. Since we got back from our trip to Ohio, combined with Daylight Savings Time I think, we have been having major sleep issues, both at nap time, and at bed time. Namely that he doesn't want to. Sleep. EVER.

I feel horrible for letting him cry in his room, but I KNOW that he needs to rest -- he played hard at MOPS this morning. And to be honest, I need a little down time of my own.

Daina has been telling me for weeks that I'm not really "dealing with" all the changes that I've undergone in the last several weeks -- well, really, since the move. To which I've argued that "dealing with it" is exactly what I've been doing.

But as I sat at MOPS this morning and fought back tears the whole time, I realized that maybe I'm not "dealing" with things well.

I tried to ask a question about how to talk to your spouse about differences in parenting without it seeming like you're fronting a strategic attack, and, whoa, did I get some pretty intense responses. Talk about feeling attacked. And as I sat there and listened to these women offer their "advice" and "two cents," all I kept thinking was "this is not how this conversation would be going if I were having it with Sara" (Seth's former babysitter and my mommy hero).

She would have understood exactly where I was coming from. She would have known exactly what to say, too, and how to say it. And knowing that just brought to the surface all of the other emotions I've been tamping down.

I'm homesick. I'm lonely. I'm longing for real relationships. I feel really, really overwhelmed with parenting a toddler, while feeling like the calendar is already racing towards August when a newborn will be added to the mix.

I don't think it will surprise anyone to hear me say that this current pregnancy was unplanned and unexpected. But maybe it'll surprise you to know that I still feel, four months into it, that IF I could turn back time, and IF I could control what happened, that I would choose to postpone this pregnancy, oh, about a year.

Does that mean I don't want this baby? No, so get off your high horse and stop judging me for what I just said. I'm just being honest. With boxes that are still unpacked, papers to be filed that are literally spilling to the floor, artwork yet to be hung, laundry piling up into unmanageable heaps, this pregnancy just feels like another thing on a never-ending list of things to be "dealt with." And I hate that! Could I sound any less maternal?

This is why I'm so eager to have another ultrasound, to know the gender, to choose a name and a nursery color scheme, to give a personality and a place to this little person who is coming whether or not I feel ready/capable/competent enough.

And I'm realizing as I run out of steam that this post is very much all over the place.

So, if you're reading, and have some piece of advice or "I've been there" story.....can I just ask that you not share it? Not right now, anyway. I'm just feeling really fragile, and I'm afraid that I'll take anything left in the comments too personally, or too negatively, or too something.

So, let's just leave it at "thank you for reading" and if you want, I could sure use your prayers. I know that this is just a season, and it will pass, but right now, in the trenches, it kinda sucks, and I kind of want out.

Monday, March 9, 2009

For Jenny...

After she commended me for not letting blogging pressure get the best of me, my dear friend Jenny suggested that if I didn't want to write, I could at least do a picture montage of Seth.

So, here are some of my favorite shots from the past 3 months that haven't had their five minutes of bloggy fame yet.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Itty Bitty Update

"Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth."

I'm three weeks out from my next obgyn appt. I am still miserably nauseated, exhausted, and desperate for the second trimester energy to appear.

Maybe if the energy shows up, I'll be able to write a more riveting blog post than this. ;)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

At attempt at a catch up

This is going to be a train wreck, so bear with me.

I know I've been a horrible blogger. I stick to my newest ideal that it is not my blog that dictates my life, but my life that dictates my blog. And lately, life has dictated that there is no time for the blog.

Friday, February 20, after a fun spa day at MOPS (where I won a free on-the-spot haircut -- whoo-hoo!!!), Seth and I headed north. After a quick stop in Louisville to drop off more loot to Daina and give her belly on last good luck pat (more about the twins' arrival later in this post), we made it to Lebanon to spend the evening with Jerry, Nikki, and Jackson. Jerry is a better parent (than I, not than Nikki); he took pics of the boys, I didn't. Sorry.

Saturday, we drove the final stretch in horrible Ohio weather. Snow, snow, and more snow. Ice, drifting, lots of accidents. A two-hour trip took five. Blah, blah, blah. I was never so happy to get out of the car in Toledo.

Sunday, church. So great to see our Westgate family and to spend some quality time with Dad.

Monday, lunch date/play date with Kristen/Emily and Stephanie/Aaron. Yummy food, happy babies, and the familiarity of friendships that just pick right back up where they left off. Good times.

Tuesday, lunch in Bellevue with my grandparents. More sweet memories. Jim arrived from TN after a day of business meetings. Daina announces the birth of her twins, Ari Zachary and Gregory Ethan. What joyous news!

Wednesday, lunch with my Westgate gals. So, so nice to see Lisa, Abby, and Andrea. Wish we had had more time together. Was supposed to meet Kelly for some Premier time. Thought it was Friday. Oops. Kelly, I promise, next time I'll get my calendar straight.

Thursday, um....Jim played hockey. I don't remember what Seth and I did.....Oh! Lunch at Jessi's with Sara and all the kids. We also got Seth's first haircut. Tear. Pictures to come.

Friday, Jim and I ran errands. Trip to the courthouse to get my birth certificate, oil changes, and Quizno's for lunch. Discover Itty Bitty likes BBQ chips. Jim hung out with Doug, Andy and Scott, and Seth and I went back to Sylvania to hang out with Dad.

Saturday, a quiet morning at home to play; lunch with our friends Chris and Majorie; a trip to Verizon; and back to the Gregory's for the annual get-together.

Sunday, early service at church and the LONGEST DRIVE HOME EVER. Seth was not a happy camper, and apparently, pregnancy also makes me car sick. Fun.

This week has already been a blur. I was supposed to go to Louisville to spend some time with Daina and the boys, but Itty Bitty isn't much liking the second trimester any more than the first, so I've been in PJs on the couch all week. Hopefully, I'll feel better by the weekend. It's supposed to be 74 on Saturday!

I do have pictures and videos to share. Be patient. Seth has been fighting naptimes, and my "morning" sickness peaks right about the time Jim gets home, so my blogging time is precious.

Thanks to the 4 faithful readers I still have after my hiatus. ;)