Unexpected

The things we need most are often the things we never saw coming....

A quiet Sunday, made quieter by the absence of the pre-church frantic hustle.  Raspy coughs and drippy noses suggested that perhaps snuggles and cartoons and unhurried parents would best serve as a healing respite.  So, we snuggled and slowed and savored not being stressed on what is called to be a day of rest.  (Not to mention that we were able, then, to avoid all the congestion from the marathon.)

Lunch, office work, laundry (always), some tattling, some tears.  Play time with the neighbors, photo editing, naptime for the baby.  Errands for daddy, and then...just before my mind turns to dinner and my eyes narrow at the clock and my ear strains to hear whispers from the nursery, he says,

"Why don't you go up to Mayberry for a bit, get a coffee, get away?"

Normally, I excuse the invitation away.  I testify that I'm fine, or, more often than not, that I'm too busy...there is too much to do....I don't have time to "get away," even for a cup of coffee.  I don't let him relieve me.  I don't let him step into solo-parent mode.  Somewhere along the way, I adopted a hidden belief that only I could do it, and by "it," I meant everything.

Someone wise recently told me that the opposite of self-respect was perfectionism.  It took me more than a second to wrap my head around that.  As someone who has long prided herself on being a "perfectionist," I found that insulting.  What would possibly be wrong with striving toward perfectionism, and how in the world did my pursuit of such inhibit self respect?

The more I considered her theory, however, (and I'll admit, there is some context I'm leaving out), the more I realized her words ring true, at least for me.   She asked me to picture how my life would be different if I truly had healthy self-respect, and this is what came to mind:

• I'd let go of the notion that I could do it all
• I'd let go of the notion that I'm the only one who could keep things together for our family
• I'd make time, not excuses, for myself to exercise -- whether that meant going for a long walk/ride, or making time for the gym
• I'd accept the offer of help, or time to myself, whether that offer was from another friend, a family member, Tiffany, or Jim
• I'd stop saying "yes" to things I didn't want to commit to/participate in, merely for fear of disappointing someone else
• I'd let myself enjoy naptime on Mondays, when it's just me and James at home, and let myself watch a show or read a book, instead of frantically doing chores

When I recognized that all the motivation behind those things/behaviors was maintaining my impossible standard of perfection, it was easy to see that I was doing myself a disservice.

So, circling back around to our germy, quiet Sunday.  Jim said, "go, get a coffee."  And you know what?  I said yes.

Eight on 8

Another year, more milestones.  More laughs and more tears and more questions and more memories and more kisses goodbye and goodnight.  More miscommunications and more make-up sex. ;)  More diaper changes and more credit card bills.  More life.  Always more life.

He is still the only one I’d want to be on this crazy ride with.  You hear lots of statistics about the seven year itch and all that.  Well, I’m here to say, that we came out on the other side stronger and more in love than ever.  So, take that, seventh year.  And eighth, too.

 

It’s cheesy, but the melody is catchy, and I have to admit, it fits….

So, in the words of Paramore…..

Can't count the years on one hand
That we've been together.
I need the other one to hold you.
Make you feel, make you feel better.
It's not a walk in the park
To love each other.
But when our fingers interlock,
Can't deny, can't deny you're worth it

‘Cause after all this time, I'm still into you.

I should be over all the butterflies, but I'm into you.
And even on our worst nights, I’m into you.
Let ‘em wonder how we got this far,
’Cause I don't really need to wonder at all.
Yeah, after all this time, I'm still into you.

 

Happy 8th Anniversary, Jim

There is no one else I’d rather
roll my eyes at than you. xoxo

But seriously, I love you.
Here’s to many more years
of being into one another.

Remember when....

Remember when we all went out to dinner at that Mexican place in the Gulch that wasn't even that good....?

...and then crammed way too many people into a way-too-small vehicle to drive around downtown Nashville looking for the best karaoke bar...?

...and then had to leave the first bar because the smoke was too much for this then-pregnant-with-James momma to handle...?

...so we went to the Wild Beaver instead...?

....and Jim sang "Tootsie Roll"...?

...and Kasey rode the mechanical bull...?

...and the waitress who was dressed up like some deranged bumblebee gave Andrea and Carrie some type of Halloween-inspired shots of who-knows-what...?

Remember that night?

It was a good night.

My parallel life is in Durango, CO

So, y'all.

Mandie.



I've talked about, praised, and linked to her before.  Because she is all sorts of funny and honest and awesome and there are few women more special to me on this across-the-miles-together mommy journey I'm on than she.

She wrote something today, and it is pretty close to verbatim to what I could write about Seth.  I alluded to it yesterday (with the whole "why I want to look him in a tower" reference).

So....since I'm out of original material today, getting all cake-frosted and having giant punch balloons pop in my face and all, I'm just sending you over to her.

Read. Appreciate.  Pray for her.  (And me.  And every other pre-school momma you know with a firstborn son who, OMG, is a hot mess 9 times out of 10 these days.)

And then go back and read some of her archives. Because, seriously, y'all:  FUNNNNNY.

Happy Birthday Week

Tiff's birthday is this Thursday, and since she got seriously gypped last year (when she turned 21) since she was at basic training, I wanted to make sure she really felt the love this year, so we started celebrating her birthday Monday, to make the fun last all week!

I made her a yummy chicken dinner (more on that later -- I roasted my first chicken!), and picked up a Graham Central Station ice cream pie from Handel's.  Simple, yes, but it got this smile, so I think it was a success!

Happy birthday, dear friend

I miss you.

I miss writing into this space, knowing that you’re out there on the other side of the continent, reading.  Staying connected.  Living a parallel life with your man and your babies.

I think about you all the time.  I wonder at times why God allowed us to meet in the way that we did, under the circumstances that we did.  Why He allowed that friendship to be forged even stronger on one of the most sacred nights of my life.  Why He gave me such a kindred spirit in you, yet time and life and circumstance keep us 3,000 miles apart from spending time together – pushing our toddlers on park swings, cursing dressing room mirrors, sipping overpriced coffee while we chat about everything and nothing face to face.

I fantasize about the wealth and freedom to pick a random weekend to jet, on a whim, from Detroit to Portland, so we can hug necks and do all the things that sister-friends would do on a Saturday….

But until that dream is a reality, I will smile because you’re in my life at all, even if months pass between blog posts that connect us.  Even if the number of texts exchanged in a year don’t get out of the single digits.  Time and miles can’t dim the joy you bring to my life.  I love you, sweet friend, and today, I’m wishing you the happiest birthday yet.

Thankswinning!

 

She is on her way!!!!

Over a year ago, I tossed out the idea to Tiffany that she should spend Thanksgiving with us, and despite a million and one changes that took place in both our lives since that conversation, the day has come!

She is on her way north to spend 11 days with us, which will include a birthday party for Seth and Thanksgiving dinner and Black Friday and movies and Phase 10 marathons and songs and hot fudge cake and laughing and so much good that my heart can hardly handle the anticipation.

This time last year, she was helping me pack up our beautiful Tennessee home, both of us drowning in unshed tears and denial.  But we've survived our first year apart -- different time zones and different ZIP codes -- and each visit just grows sweeter and each night spend under the same roof just solidifies her place in our hearts and in our family.

Do you have that person?  That unconventional, unpredictable friendship that turned into so much more than you would ever have imagined?  I'd love to hear about them if you do...

10.8.05 / 10.8.12

4  homes.

10 rental properties.

6 jobs.

7 vehicles.

3 couches.

7 pregnancies.

4 children.

2, 557 kisses good night.

7 years, and I love you more than ever.

Jackpot

 

It's not the first time I've bragged about her, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I just had to remind you all that you should be jealous.  I got THE best mother-in-law the world had to offer.  She loves me (and Jim, duh), and my children exquisitely, and lets me be my flawed self without judgment. 

She is the only one who even remotely understands what it is like to be married to Jim, because (a) she's his momma, and (b) she is married to "a Gregory man," and she and a certain Hospice nurse know what I mean by that.  (And honey, it's not a criticism....it's more of an inside joke.)

She makes the best chocolate chip cookies, knows the true joy of a cold Pepsi, is a laundry goddess, and has the heart of gold that I thought I'd never know again when my beloved Duck (my paternal grandmother) passed away.

And for today, that's it.  Just a girl, who wanted to brag on her Momma G for a minute.  Because God knows, she deserves it.

Wordless Wednesday 7.25.12

Around here these days...

How I managed to keep this blog current and active after the births of Seth, Duncan, and Erin is an enigma.  I definitely feel that there are fewer than 24 hours in my days these days, and there just isn't time to blog.  If there were an easier way to morph my Facebook photos, check-ins, and status updates into blog posts, we'd be in business, but until then, here is just some late June/early July randomness...

Jim and I took Seth on a one-on-two date to Buffalo Wild Wings and IKEA Canton to pick up his new bunk beds.  (I have yet to get a good picture of the beds either in his room, or in use, but here is a bunk-bed-unrelated picture of the boys playing Angry Bird.)

I have been hard at work switching over all the kiddo rooms.  We've finally moved into the master bedroom, so Erin is moving to our room, Seth is shifting to hers, and eventually James will land in Seth's original room. Though Seth's room got the first change with the arrival of his bunks, Erin's room has been getting the most attention because its first occupant will actually be Tiffany, when she come to stay in just a couple of weeks.  I finished painting the head- and footboard this week, and plan to finish "dressing" the room this weekend (though I know all my fluffing is premature, since the room is getting painted next weekend.  Oh, well.).

Two weekends ago, we celebrated Sara and Angie's 23+7th birthdays with a backyard barbeque, and it was all kinds of awesome.  Sara, ever the amazeballs hostess, had set up a "photo booth" with props, and a bubble station, and a craft area to make these awesome masks...

Here is the biggest B and the littlest G chillin' out in the cool house (did I mention we've been having record-setting triple digit heat waves up here?  It's yucky!), after Zeke stepped barefoot on a peach pit and was down for the count for the night.

 

This boy is all kinds of awesome, and seems to be growing before my eyes each time I blink.  His vocabulary, his imagination, and yes, even his attitude, are all of a boy who isn't so little any more.

Let's see, what else?

I mentioned it's been HOTSOHOTHOTHOTHOTOHSOHOTTTT!!!!, so I've been getting creative with meals, because, hello, who wants to cook when it is 112?  So, yes, there have been some lunches that consisted solely of sliced apples and sprinkled whipped cream

 

Both Seth and Erin have been logging some quality hours with Gramp-e, but there is something special about the relationship these two boys have.  Last weekend, I was sitting at a red light only to hear catcalls come through my open passenger window, from these two, on their way to a pancake breakfast.

 

In the "me" arena....  I've been back on Weight Watchers for about three weeks, and am happy to say am having the same results as last summer, even with all the extra calories I'm "allowed" because I'm a nursing mom.  As of this weeks' weigh in, I'm officially down 30 lbs from my end-of-pregnancy weight.  YEA!  Not that there isn't a looong way to go yet, but I'm on track to be at my goal weight in October.  Which, yes, some days (like, when it's the aforementioned 112 degrees) seems like FOREVER AWAY, but I also know, just from a quick look at the calendar, that the weeks (and mostly the weekends) are going to fly, and I'm going to be pumpkin-picking in my pre-wedding (yes, circa 2004!) jeans before I know it.

I'm growing my hair back out (I still don't know what happened to break down the communication between me and my stylist when I asked for a "trim" before James was born.  I'm in a slump with the grow stage that we're at right now, but every once in a while, when it's not 112 degrees and I put in some effort, I can pull off a GHD. =)

Last weekend, Sara and I and two other girlfriends spent an entire Saturday prepping 10 freezer meals.  It was an experience, to say the least, but it was fun, and successful, and economical, and we will most assuredly be doing it again, if not quarterly.  I'll have to (eventually) blog about the recipes we chose, and rate them.  Regardless of the yum-factor-to-be-seen, though, I'd encourage you all to try to plan a freezer cooking day with your besties.  And if your newborn son is as wonderful a sleeper as mine, you can take him along, too.

And that's all, folks....!

There is more, always more, to share, to report, to chat about, but, my littlest little needs to be fed, so, sayonara for now, interpeeps!

Memorial Day memories

It’s hard to believe it’s been eight years since Jim introduced me to Doug and Sara.  Oh, if I’d only known!  And I’m so glad that first impressions don’t really count, because I was such lousy company, thanks to horrible allergies and a Benadryl haze.

And here we are, eight years, seven kids, a handful of jobs, and dozens of barbeques later…

     

If I’d only known…

I hate that I don’t have any photos to accompany this post.  We’re all moms with smartphones; you think we’d be used to whipping out the cameras to capture rare memorable moments.

Alas.

For the past, oh, I don’t know, at least 4, maybe 5 years, Jim and some of his best friends…oh wait, I do have a picture for this!

Anyways, these five guys have gathered in the Dayton/Cinci area for a annual guys’ weekend in the spring for the past half-decade.  It usually involves several hours of March Madness watching. golfing, Dave & Buster’s, Montgomery Inn, Bill’s Donuts, and general “boy stuff.”  And while we wives have never stood in the way of this tradition or begrudged our hard-working hubbys this getaway, we have gradually hinted at a reciprocal weekend for us girls.

And this past September, we actually pulled it off.

Four of us girls met up in West Chester, Ohio for a 48-hour retreat of shopping, eating, and girl time.  And we kept up pretty good pace with the boys when it comes to the eating department.

We met up late Friday afternoon at our hotel, and enjoyed a relaxing (kid-free!!!!) dinner at Bravo!, followed by a screening of the chic flick I Don’t Know How She Does It.  Saturday was full of outlet mall shopping, followed by uber-yumminess at the aforementioned Montgomery Inn, and then Graeter’s ice cream (which, really, wasn’t all that impressive; I’ll take my Handel’s any day).

Anyway, the point of this post actually isn’t about marking this weekend, though it is probably worth documenting, because the likelihood that we’ll manage it again any time soon is slim.

The funny part is this…

As we were headed to dinner Friday night, I marveled from the backseat of Nikki’s crossover, “I can’t believe we actually, finally, are doing this.  Then again, it’s the first time we haven’t had at least one of us pregnant or nursing in the last 5 years.”

And then Kristen, who strangely had insisted on sitting in the front seat due to a sudden onset of car-sickness, sheepishly says, “Well, that’s not exactly true…”  Hooray!  She was announcing to us that she was about 9 weeks pregnant with her third child.

Between dinner and our movie, as the four of us walked around the local shops, we each shared our current positions on our growing families.  Nikki and Jerry have one son, Jackson, and while they may want additional children, Nikki is pursing an administrative/principal certification and position within her school district so the timing is less than ideal to expand their family; Craig and Steph have three-year-old Aaron, sweet Zachary in heaven, and are pursuing Chinese adoption; Kristen had just shared her news that they were adding #3 to 4-yr-old Emily and 2-yr-old Aiden; and then there was me.

I remember saying to Stephanie, “I’m so glad Jim and I already have decided to put off any baby-making for at least the next year, because I think I’d have learned Kristen’s news, and totally gotten baby envy,” to which Kristen overheard and responded, “Yeah, just watch, I’ll call you in a couple months, and you’ll be pregnant.”

This was Friday night.

On Wednesday, I ducked out of choir practice early to pick up a Dollar Tree pregnancy test.

And, yes, we laughed a when I sent Kristen the text that said, “You know how you said you’d call in a couple months and I’d tell you I was pregnant?”  Little did I know that if I’d had any inclination that girls’ weekend, I’d have gotten a positive result on a pregnancy test….

Anyways.  Not my most eloquently written or profound blog post.

But given the emotion of this week, it’s good to reflect on how this final gestational journey of mine started.

Wordless Wednesday

The love of a good man

This is the face I see pop up on my screen every time my cell phone rings.

 
This is the man who has held my hand through the birth of three, soon to be four, incredible little people – little people who are blessed to carry his name.

 
This is the guy that brought into my life some of the best friends a girl could ask to inherit.

This is the guy who knows how to have fun with his kids (and other people’s kids, too!).

This is the guy who is my partner, in every sense of the word.

This is the guy who still makes my heart skip when he winks at me.

Happy birthday, Jim.
You are everything the sappy, cliched Hallmark card
that I didn’t get you says you are.
I hope I’m by your side for every moment
of the next 32 (plus) years.

To Honor our Miss Tiff’ny

She is a babysitter, little sister, best friend, co-pilot, packing buddy, confidant all rolled into one.

I wasn’t looking for her, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t looking for me, but from an initial fist bump in the church sanctuary (that she doesn’t remember) to an early spring afternoon sitting at a neighborhood playground, a friendship sprung and blossomed and thrived.

One dreary day in late January, only a few weeks after we returned to Ohio, I expected Jim to bring home a pizza for dinner.  Which, to his credit, he did.  He also brought home our Tiffany!

Oh, they had plotted and schemed and kept me in the dark to plan a surprise visit.  And I was so thrilled to see her standing in my box-strewn house (boxes, I may add, that she helped pack just two short months before), that I didn’t even care that I hadn’t showered that day.

We had the best, albeit short, visit, showing off our “hometown” via Handel’s Ice Cream, Frisch’s hot fudge cake, and Tony Packo’s chili dogs.  (And yes, in her own words, there are times when it rocks to have a pregnant friend!)

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(Erin was way more excited to be with Tiff than she was to try Hungarian pickles….!)

We shopped, played Phase 10 and Candyland, went to Bible study and MOPS, watched American Idol auditions, and basically, just did the “everyday life” that we’d been doing together for months, and it was heaven, and I sobbed like a baby when I had to shut my front door behind her and send her back to Tennessee…

And although I got to see her again in March when we went to Tennessee for spring break, part of that visit was sending her off again….this time, for longer and further away…

Now, we are surviving a months-long separation with only letters to hold us over.  We are used to talking every day, sharing coffee and meals and shopping trips, seamlessly co-caring for my little ones, and now….she is hundreds of miles away at Ft. Jackson, South Carolina, training and learning and growing and serving her country in the National Guard.

I’m so very proud of her.

But I miss her so.

Her car is sitting in my driveway.   An antique skeleton key on my memo board reminds me to pray for her health and safety.  A hundred times a day, I think, I need to put this in my next letter to Tiff….  Her voice, lovingly recorded, fills the darkness of Erin’s nursery as the lullabies she wrote my children play on repeat.  She is never far from my mind or heart.

And today, she turns 21.

So far from home.  Not surrounded by family and friends and cake and well-wishes.  But she is being remembered and celebrated nonetheless.

Tiffany, you are a joy.  A virtuous woman beyond your years.  You are a treasure to all who know you.  You are a blessing beyond measure to our family.  And I’m counting the number of sleeps til you’re back in Ohio with us.  (It’s 102, by the way!)

Happy birthday, darling girl!  You are going to own 21!

Better Late Than Never debut: Spring Break 2012

There are SO many posts that I am behind on.  SO many.  So, rather than just move forward, I am, again, going to attempt to get caught up, so, you’ll start to see another category in the “looking for?” cloud and in my titles, which is Better Late Than Never (which I’m going to shorten to BLTN), and try my darndest to get the blog back up to speed before little Miss or Mister makes an appearance.  Wish me luck!

First up, Spring Break 2012!

While the Ohio schools we are surrounded by are just now this week on spring break, our Tennessee friends enjoyed an earlier respite the first week of March.  It happened to coincide with a trip we needed to make anyways to tie up some loose ends in White House, so….off we went, in the midst of really, really severe tornadic weather.

Yeah, we’re smart like that.

Thankfully, we made it to Tennessee safe and sound (though late, as we stopped in Elizabethtown, KY, for the night after too many hours of traffic and weather).  Needless to say, as the following pictures will speak for themselves, but Seth and his BFF Gage were thrilled to be reunited.

  

We didn’t actually DO much while we were back in Tennessee.  We had lunch at Las Maracas with the Knacks, and hung out with our small group for Andrea’s birthday, and spent Sunday morning worship with our dear WHFBC family, but other than that…. it was just shopping at Target….

Hanging out at the house……

Playdates at Moss Wright State Park….

 

Lunch at Chick-fil-A…..

     

A morning at Monkey Joe’s….

  And quality time with friends we miss so very much…

The drive home was fairly uneventful, if wet.  Jim had left Tennessee Sunday after church, driving the Mazda home (as we are storing it for Tiffany while she is at basic training, but that’s a whole ‘nother post), so it was just me and the kiddos the following Thursday.

It rained the ENTIRE way from White House to Dayton, but there weren’t too many issues along the way.  Most people took compassion on the very pregnant momma trying to herd two toddlers into gas stations and McDonald’s in the pouring rain, so, there was that perk, lol.

And Twizzlers.  It’s how I roll when I’m taxi cabbing-it solo. =)

It’s hard to comprehend that we have already been in Ohio for 3.5 months, and that by the time we return to Tennessee for our next visit, our family will be one member greater.  Watching pictures pop up in my Facebook and Google reader feeds of baseball season kicking off, and birthday shirts being embroidered, and Easter celebrations being hosted, all hundreds of miles away, is bittersweet.  I’m SO thankful for the routes of social media that keep us all connected….

But I’d trade all the Kit-Kats in Seth and Erin’s easter baskets for a hug from Aylin Pearl right about now….