originally published to Facebook May 19, 2022
If you see this mister around today, wish him happy birthday! He is the big 1-0!!!!
I’ve always said he was his own brand of magic, from day one, and man….. he still is magical!
It’s hard, sharing a birthday with a ghost….. and I don’t mean to be flippant or disrespectful with that term. But it’s true. James and I have such a sweet relationship, and from about age 4, when he could somewhat understand why I wobbled between sadness and joy in the days surrounding his birthday, he has shown me and my emotions nothing but grace. He is so even-tempered, easy to please, quick to forgive.
He never really makes May 19 all about him, in the way we allow and expect little kids to do with their birthdays. He is happy with a bubble tea, a sprinkle donut, some Roblox bucks, and a Chipotle chicken bowl with guac. He is always full of extra snuggles and “I love you’s” and making sure that I’m as happy as he is. He is quick with his wit and humor, and just loves me in the best way on a day I wish could be ALL about him.
Most of the time, I’m still baffled that God chose May 19th to be the date of James birth….. I struggle every year with which way the pendulum of my heart swings…. Whose day is it? It’s the one day I want the world to remember Duncan, and it’s the one day I want the world to celebrate James.
Today, though, I’m surprisingly at peace with the balancing act, and a huge part of that is because James is who he is, and he gives me the space to walk this tightrope. This kid truly is magical. If you know him, you know what I mean.
If you’re a “This Is Us” fan, you know the significance of the caboose. I’ve been calling James my caboose baby for years. He’s bringing up the rear of my trifecta of kiddos. But I’m getting more settled in the notion “that endings aren’t sad… They’re just the start of the next incredibility beautiful thing.” And James’ life is without a doubt an incredibly beautiful thing.
Happy, happy 10th birthday, Smuch. You are my joy, my baby, my heart’s band-aid. You make it easy to celebrate you every day! I hope they let you fire the cannon on your Ft Meigs field trip today.
