Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The cat, her bag, and a long 5 months


Are most of you still wrapping your heads around the fact that not only am I pregnant again, but that I’m over half-way done with said pregnancy?

(Yeah, me too.)

I’m getting the impression from a couple different avenues that in keeping Baby Girl’s existence a secret for so long, I ruffled a few feathers and inadvertently hurt a few feelings.

Well, first and foremost, um, well, how can I say this delicately….. get over it?  Yeah, I guess that pretty much sums it up.  I mean, really, the conception of a child is a pretty personal thing, and I think it’s a generally accepted practice that parents-to-be reveal the news of their unborn child when and in the manner which THEY decide.

And in our case, we decided “last week.”

Yes, some of our family knew.  Some of our closest friends knew.  Our church family (and pretty much anyone who saw me in person since September) knew.  But the general masses (including most family members), blog-land, and Facebook did not.

And here, though I owe no one an explanation, is why.

One: I lost a son in May, and that pain was, and is, raw, and I didn’t want to open myself up to asinine comments like, “oh, now you can move on,” or “see, we knew you could have another baby,” or “well, aren’t you a glutton for punishment.”  (And, yes, people really are that ignorant.)

Two: I have never been able to share the news of a pregnancy with my mother in person.  We were able to tell my parents and my inlaws about Seth’s pregnancy face-t0-face.  We told my inlaws about Duncan’s pregnancy face-to-face.  But I have always had to tell my mom “I’m pregnant” via phone or Skype, and this time I, perhaps, selfishly, wanted to tell her in person – even if it meant keeping the pregnancy from her for five months.

And it was SO worth it!

When we arrived in Florida last weekend, one of the first things we did was have Seth present Nonna with a Christmas gift which would far exceed her expectations.

I cut her off in the middle of saying “shame on you!” and I didn’t get her tears of relief and joy on camera, but her reaction was priceless, and I’m SO glad that I was there to witness it in person.

So, there you have it.

I have been pregnant since mid-August.  It has been a tense and high-risk SUCCESSFUL pregnancy so far.  I am carrying a girl.  She does not have a name.  Yet.  I am already incredibly in love with her, and I choke up just thinking of the first time I see her in late April/early May.

And, if you care to backtrack and read about her progress from, essentially, Day One, you can click over --------------> there to the sidebar where it says “looking for” and click on “Baby Girl” and you will be taken to a collection of a few dozen back-dated posts that I have been writing since September. From here on out, I will be doing my weekly updates here at The Writer Chic (rather than at The Chicklet, the on-the-sly blog I’ve been keeping).

And one more disclaimer……if I offended you further with the “get over it” comment from earlier….I’m sorry.  I know you all are just happy for us, and wanting to share in our joy.  But I just really, really wanted to indulge myself in this one way…… I hope y’all can understand that.



Goat Gal said...

Love the video of your mom! Priceless. Bravo for keeping it a secret for so long!

phasejumper said...

You go girl! I'm confused why people would be offended? I was just super happy for you when you told us!

Stacy D said...

No need to apologize. Being pregnant again after losing a child is such a delicate thing... balancing the hopfulness for this new little life, with the ache of missing the child you've lost. And you're right... sometimes people do say those ridiculous things, not realizing that it's just not that simple. It's not as simple as being over it or everything being better; you don't get over burrying your child... and yet some how, in His graciousness, God somehow allows both the ache and the joy to exist at the same time.

Continuing to pray for you, Jim, Seth, and baby girl... so hoping that this summer we can hang out IRL and our daughters can meet :)

~ Stacy

Forever For Evie said...

Congratulations to you and your family!!! I love the video of your mom! So sweet!! Praying for you and for a wonderful pregnancy!

Jenn said...

I feel bad that you need to apologize to people. I think it's wonderful that you were able to have some special time with that news for yourself for a while. And to be able to tell your mom in person was priceless. You did what was right for you, and you don't need to apologize for that. I'm so excited for you and will continue to pray for you and your family. :)

MaryBeth said...

Yay! Glad you got to tell her in person!

Kristin (kekis) said...

I completely agree with you. Everyone can get over it. I didn't know, but I wouldn't dare be upset about it. How could anyone be miffed that you are having a SUCCESSFUL pregnancy and expecting a precious girl. How you decide to handle it is only the business of you & J.

The video of your mom was precious. I can see how the waterworks were coming, and I'm so glad you could share that moment together.

Congratulations, Monica. You deserve many blessings!

mandie lane said...

Oh, that video made me grin! I'd say that was totally worth the secret keeping!

And you have NO reason to be apologetic. Your body, your baby, your business. After the long and painful journey you've been on, nobody in their right mind has any right to judge you for your choices.

And YAY for sweet 2010 baby GIRLS!

Michelle B said...

No need to apologize Monica!!!! I am so excited for you! If people are offended they can just get over it.

L said...

just a lurker here coming out of the cracks to say congrats :) and you do not need to apologize to anyone! you could have waited to show us her sweet face after you had her and that is your right! :) crazy how people in blog world feel like it is their "right" to know what is going on and when in our blog community :) Congrats!!!! God Bless!

Beth Calcamuggio Mitchell said...

Congratulations Monica- that is so exciting! I will be praying for a continued healthy pregnancy and look forward to seeing pic's of your sweet baby girl.

Valerie said...

I don't think you owe anyone an explanation. You were doing what was right for you and your family, and seeing that video of your mom's reaction was wonderful!

Continued best wishes to all of you!

Jennifer said...

I can't remember if I've commented before or not...but I had to say CONGRATS!!! I'm so happy for you and your family. Know that you and your baby girl and your entire family are in my prayers. Sorry that there were people who were offended that you waited to tell. My mom is 13 hours from me so I understand the joy it is to give such exciting news in person. I'm glad you were able to surprise her that way :) Many congrats to you!!!

Sara said...

No, for real...get over it. It has nothing to do with whomever has "hurt feelings". Whatever. Send them my way. ;)

I'm so excited to meet little miss!!!

Jennifer said...

YAY! I am so excited for you Monica!

Mom said...

I am glad you got to tell your Mother in person. You should not have to apologize to anybody. Just glad it's out. Praying for your family. Love ya.

Holly said...

How wonderful! And hey, I don't think anybody should be making you feel bad for not telling sooner. I'd say get over it too!