I may not have a shoebox full of love letters and Hallmark cards and sweetly scribbled Post-Its detailing his undying love for me. Which, for the longest time, I lamented.
See, my love language is words of affirmation. So, I feel most loved when someone is telling me – either verbally, or in written word – how they feel about me, why they love me, or how I make them feel.
But Jim’s love language is acts of service. He feels most loved when I take care of him through basic needs – keeping the house tidy, making sure he has clean underwear, maintaining our family calendar.
One of the hardest things to learn in a marriage – well, any relationship, really – is how to speak the other person’s primary “love language,” even if it’s not the one that comes most natural to you.
I had to learn that unloading the dishwasher was going to mean more to Jim that a two-page letter waxing poetic about his stunning physique. And he had to learn that sending me a text in the middle of the day just to say “I love you” means more to me taking out the garbage.
On the other hand, I think we have both benefitted from being spoken to in our “native" tongues.” Jim keeps the cards and Post-Its I leave for him; I very much appreciate that Jim most often takes the dishwasher-unloading and curbside-trash-hauling duties.
And every so often, one of us benefits in a BIG way from the love language the other one speaks.
Point in case.
Last Monday night, Jim left me to fend for myself with Seth after work hours. We played outside, caved to the temptation of Little Caesar's for dinner, and stayed up way past bedtime just in order to see Daddy for the first time all day.
But it wasn’t because Jim was just working late.
It was because he was negotiating a deal for this:
My new car, which is a dream come true. (And that is saying a lot coming from a self-proclaimed “I’m-not-a-car-girl” girl.)
It is a 2010 Ford Flex, and I LOVE it. It has everything. EVERY. THING.
Not just a sunroof, but two moonroofs as well.
Entertainment package. (Read: DVD player for long trips to Florida.)
And features notwithstanding, it drives like a luxury car.
I LOVE it.
And I know it made Jim so happy to provide this for me. Knowing that I’m going to be mommy-ing around his littles in a safe, economical family vehicle makes him happy. And if he’s happy, I’m happy.
And if I’m being totally honest….the sunroof makes me happy, too.