Thursday, April 23, 2009

An open letter to (some of) my peeps

In no particular order...

Dear Seth,

I'm sorry that I accused you of running of with and/or hiding my key ring. I'm also sorry that I've allowed your lunch and/or nap schedule to get out of whack in the last week. My bad. However, you need to get more than 20 minutes of sleep during the day, and therefore, please stop biting chunks out of your crib railing and go to sleep already.

Love,
Mommy

****

Dear Jim,

I'm sorry you are having to put up with someone who hogs the bed, needs help to the bathroom, cries over nothing, and leaves her key ring out in the yard next to the garbage car overnight. In a thunderstorm.

I love you,
Your I-hope-this-is-all-just-a-phase-we-can-blame-on-me-being-pregnant wife

****

Dear Southwest Airlines,

While I'm none too thrilled that you upped your prices $45 bucks in a matter of hours, I still very much appreciate your reasonable fares that will allow me and my son to jet away to a sunnier, Nonna-and-Grandpa filled place where I can work on my tan and not have to cook for 6 days.

Your new bestie,
Can't wait to get away MSG

****

Dear desperate, thoughtless, and just plain indecent people who burglarized our home,

Ya know, it's bad enough that you put a hole in the back of my house, invaded my space, messed up my perfectly organized closet, stole a butt-load of my stuff, and pretty much just disrupted my life, but seriously? I'm holding you solely responsible for the ginormous fever blisters that are spreading all over my face, for the sky-high blood pressures that I've been having, and the diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder that I was handed this morning.

I think you're mean and I don't like you at all,
Disgruntled and sick MSG

****

Dear neighbor mowing your grass,

Shh. It's naptime. Do that later.

Thanks,
three doors down

9 comments:

mandie lane said...

Dear MSG,

I agree your burglars suck for all the stress they caused you. I wish your neighbor would mow my lawn while he's at it. I'm sure Jim still thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. I hope Seth will forgive you for the wrongful accusal and just go to sleep and give you a break. Send him to Austin for a couple days if need be. Anderson would love a super cute buddy to hang with.

Love,
MLF

phasejumper said...

Very creative post. Sounds like you've had a crazy week. Here's to babies that have poor memories (and long naps), keys that walk themselves to where they are supposed to be, hubbies that understand and neighbors that keep it quiet from the hours of 11-4. (My neighbors decided to have their tree cut down from noon to 3 the last couple of days, now they are bringing in Semi monster train rocket trucks to haul out all the wood...also at the same time. Grrrrrr. You are still in my prayers girlie and I hope you have a restful, rehabilitating time with your family.

phasejumper said...

Oh yeah-also for swift justice for the jerk-head robbers...

amy (metz) walker said...

Lol, HILARIOUS!

Angela said...

Great post! :)

Sarah said...

Hoping that...

Seth is sleeping...
Jim is forgiving (I'm sure he is)...
You get a tan on your getaway...
The creeps that broke in are using the breast pump in the wrong way!...
It's finally quiet!
Have a wonderful weekend!

Anonymous said...

Dear MSG,

I have been reading your blog since you started it. I have seen the nice rocker you have in Seth's room. Do you use it? I have a two year old and I still rock him for about 10 minutes. He takes his sippie cup and I sing to him and tell him how much I love him and it's not long before he is ready for his nap. They need a little loving time from mommy too. I know it is getting harder to do that, but he needs that time. Try it and see if it makes it a little better for nap time.

Your husband sounds like a nice guy.

Sorry about the break in. Hope they catch them.

Can't wait to hear what name you two will pick out. Also have fun on your get-a-way.

Kendra said...

Oh, Writer Chic...those are some great letters!!!

You are much kinder in your letters to the burglars than I would be =), I hate to admit it, but my letter would have lots of $#%@ in it! HA!

Erika said...

I LOVED this post. You are a really good writer.

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