Saturday, September 24, 2011

Forgiveness

Forgiveness....

Is more than saying "sorry."

Anybody recognize what movie that is from? ;)

Anyways.

Forgiveness is a topic that has been heavy on my heart the last few weeks.  Recently, someone hurt me, and my family.  And I've very much struggled with feelings of anger and hurt and resentment and more anger.  And a little more anger.

And then, last week, at our MOPS meeting, we listened to a fellow mom share about the freedom she's found in forgiving the one person who hurt her more than anyone ever had.

And while I'd love to say that her "talk" was revolutionary for me, and that I had an epiphany that just lifted the fog of hurt, but it didn't.  What it did do was allow me to focus on how this situation that I'm currently in must look to my Father.

When Seth is hurt by a friend -- when someone is mean to him, or unkind, or unfriendly -- and he is heartsick and sad, I say to him: "Buddy, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry you're hurt. I hate that you are sad.  But we need to love our friends even when they are unkind. We need to forgive them, even if they are not sorry.  I love you, and I'm sorry that you are sad, but I'm here.  I love you.  And it is going to all be okay."

And I mean it, don't I?  I mean all those things that I say to my child to comfort him.  And this past week, I took some comfort in the thought that my Heavenly Father looks down, and sees my tears, and my restless tossings in bed at night, and knows my heartache, and says to me, "Monica, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry it happened, and I'm sorry you're hurt.  I hate that you are sad.  But we need to love....we need to forgive, even without an "I'm sorry."  I love you, but I'm here. I love you, and it's all going to be okay."

I don't know when I'm going to "feel" better.  I don't know when certain songs on the radio, or running into certain people, or seeing the thermostat reach a certain temperature, will stop triggering memories that take me back to that "point of impact."

But in the meantime, my God -- and my sweet husband, for that matter -- is whispering, "I love you.  I'm sorry you're hurt.  I love you.  I'm here.  It's going to be okay."

7 comments:

Brian and Amy Yohe said...

Love you, Friend!

Mom said...

Love you Monica. I am here when ever you need me. You WILL be ok. God Loves you and he will walk with you every step of the way.

Kendra said...

Oh Monica, this pains my heart to read.

May He help heal your heart...

And in the meantime, I'm a phone call away =)

Jeanette said...

the right thing to do isn't always the easiest thing to do nor does it always happen right away. praying that the pain lessens soon.

Marlo said...

Wow. I'm proud of you for putting this out there. It's often hard for me to write about sensitive things like this for fear the very person will read it and respond in a hurtful way all over again. But I'm glad you're not like me. And I hope like the other commenters that you will continue to feel God's love in the middle of this.

Sara said...

*smiling & nodding* ;)

Elaine said...

I'm sorry you were so hurt. We humans can be just awful to each other, can't we? I pray you will find the peace that offering forgiveness can bring. You'll probably need to still have mad and sad moments to work through the situation, but I pray that peace will be the end result.

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