Sunday, July 26, 2009

I’m sorry I left you all hanging

As several of you have emailed me directly, I suppose it’s time to tell you: I chose to unpack Seth and Jim’s suitcases; I did not chose to make the bed, although I did straighten the sheets before climbing in that night. ;)

Seriously, though?  Who knew I’d get such a bevy of comments off a “filler” post of pure randomness?  It was fun learning which of you are a little OCD and which of you take a more laid back approach.  It’s funny – I’m a tad bit OCD-prone as a rule, but the bed making has never been my strong point (no fault of yours, Mom!).   However, I’m proud to say the bed has been made each day since that post.  And I love it.  It makes it so much easier to pile the laundry on top of!

Okay, moving on…..

I feel like there was something else I was supposed to tell you….

Oh, right.  That little doctor appointment on Friday.

I’m sorry for my glibness, as well as the delay.  I’m not really sure why I didn’t make time to post an update Friday or Saturday. Well, there were some other life events that got in the way of my blogging, but we’ll get to those.  Moreso, though, I think I just was weary of repeating the news.

I’d already talked to my parents, my girlfriends, my babysitter.  I’d sent an email to the people I KNEW were waiting for the results, and I’d jotted off a quick Facebook status update.  And by the time I was done with all that….I’m sorry to say there wasn’t much oomph left in me to write it all out again.

But today is a new day.  I’ve only had to deliver the story once today, so I’m prepped and ready to lay it all out one more time.

Dr. Graves was quick to assure Jim and me of all the tests that came back negative – I think it was an attempt at reverse psychology, so that when she got to the tests that came back positive (for disorder), we’d be feeling grateful for all that wasn’t wrong.  I have to admit, it kind of worked.

Because by the time she got to the two tests that did show a genetic mutation, I knew things could have turned out much worse, and what we are faced with having are some of the more common mutations, and are, in fact, treatable.

Okay.  Here it is.  I have MTHFR C677T and 4G PAI-1.  The first, a deficiency, is treated by taking a ridiculous amount of folic acid before becoming and while pregnant.  The latter, a clotting disorder, is treated with a daily baby aspirin.  Each of these mutations, in and of themselves, are not overly concerning.  Combined, they are more problematic.  However, the truly concerning component in my particular situation is these mutations in combination with my predisposition to hypertension and preeclampsia.  The blood pressure issue will always remain my biggest pregnancy threat, but Dr. Graves was quick to point out that doubling my current blood pressure medications, in addition to beginning the folic acid and aspirin regimen before even becoming pregnant again, would greatly increase my chances of getting another pregnancy off to the best start.  In addition, once a viable pregnancy would be established (most likely, via an ultrasound around 7 weeks gestation that showed a beating heart), we would weigh the risks and benefits of a drug such as heparin or Lovenox.

As I don’t plan to keep you all abreast of our plans with play-by-play updates on our sex life, I’ll leave you with this “statement,” and ask that you respect our privacy and our timetable in the matter of our future fertility:

We feel confident that our doctors have found the cause of my past pregnancy complications, and trust their diagnosis and proposed plan of treatment should we decide to become pregnant again.  We have been granted “permission” to begin trying to conceive as early as August; however, we have not decided when we will begin the process.  We are seeking wisdom and counsel as to when our family is both physically and emotionally ready to welcome the possibility of another pregnancy, the complications it could bring, and the ultimate responsibility of growing another life.  When and if we do decide to try to conceive another baby, that will remain between Jim and I.  If we are blessed to become pregnant, we will joyfully share our news.  In the meantime, we continue to thank you for your love and support as we have been walking this dark road.  We are healing, but we still need your prayers and encouragement.  Thank you for loving us, and for loving our sweet Duncan as well.


Katie and Shawn said...

I just read your blog entries, and I wanted to thank you for allowing TTC families, like my husband and I, to read your story. I am from Nashville, and just started seeing an RE, and I find it helpful to read blogs and read what is experienced on the road to pregnancy. I wish you the best and again thank you for writing.

Katie and Shawn said...

Oh, one more thing, saw about GiGi's cupcakes, I will so have to try that out! Looks great! I want to try them all!

NationalParkMama said...

I too have the MTHFR mutation, homozygous and take crazy amounts of folic acid and baby aspirin. We lose two babies before we had our daughter. Late first trimester miscarriages, missed miscarriages. Anyway, I always read and I always pray for you. I rarely comment because well, I found you through Jess @theproblemwithhope a ways back and I don't think you know me personally and I don't have a blog any longer. Point is my daughter is Seth's age and so I always loved reading bc of that and you are a great writer. I want you to know there are people all over praying for you even if you don't know it. Wishing you all the best in the future.

Sara said...

Love you all! *hugs*

Kristy said...

I am so happy to see that they found something, and beyond that that it is treatable. I know it might sound odd to say that, but the unknown is SO hard. I've delt with it many times and its a hard pill to swallow. Whatever you chose to do fertilty wise is no ones business. Thank you for sharing though what you have thus far. Whatever you decide will be what is best for you and your family. I hope this news has brought you some will never change what happened, and never changed your feelings of your grief but for some, having an answer will keep you from always wondering what had happened.


Valerie said...

I'm glad that you got some answers and that you have a game plan in place. I'm continuing to pray for you all.


Anonymous said...

Oh, Monica! What news! I am so *hopeful* for you and Jim, hopeful that you will find peace. And, trying for another baby is no one elses' business, like you and Kristy said, until you make it so. You two are in my prayers for guidance, as I imagine that is what you most need at this time. Good luck!

Kelly said...

Sending you lots of thoughts, vibes, and prayers as you deal with this information and make your decision. (((hugs)))

Sarah said...

So glad you were able to get some answers...continuing to hope and pray alongside of you.

MaryBeth said...

Love you.

Kate said...

Thank you for sharing your story! I'm glad you have some answers and I hope it brings you some peace and guidance as you embark on this next part of your journey.

I have the opposite problem from you--my blood doesn't clot, causing all kinds of problems in pregnancy. I understand where you are at--you're in my prayers!

Jennifer said...

Thanks Monica for letting us know! You will be in my thoughts! I LOVE your blog and it's one of my daily stops. Take care, Jennifer

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