Friday, May 22, 2009

Why he is "Duncan"

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind is a memory of Jim telling me that our last name had been "Americanized" several generations ago. I thought this was so tragic -- I would have been proud to carry an "obviously" Scottish name!

I mentioned this to my mother-in-law at lunch on Thursday, and she looked surprised. Hmm. Maybe Jim had wrong information, or, being the dramatic romantic that I am, I'd made the whole thing up.

Either way, Irish- and Scottish-sounding names like Ian, Owen, Collin, Aidan and the like had long been on my list of beloved baby names. Only recently did I add Duncan to a very short list that I had running for Itty Bitty; I'd not yet even mentioned the name to Jim.

Saturday afternoon, as we were in triage, we thumbed through a baby name book loaned to us by the obstetrical staff. I'm not sure why I thought we could concentrate, even under the looming deadline of needing to name him NOW. So much information had just been thrown at us -- insurance, legal, medical care for me, cause and diagnosis for our unborn son. Our heads were spinning.

One of the hardest pieces of news to receive was that although Duncan's heart had only recently stopped, he had been in fetal distress for sometime -- most likely from about 20 weeks (mid-April), given his measurements and size. Oh, how proud I was to be his mommy at that moment, knowing that he was so valiant to survive in the shadow of death!

As I unseeingly flipped through the alphabet of names, I thought to look up the meaning of Duncan.

As Jim looked over my shoulder, our eyes landed on the description "fighter."

And just that easily, he was named.

There are some comic details about how we came to the decision of a middle name of Thomas, and maybe I'll share those in a future post. But for now, I realized that as you all are reading the news of our son and offering up your sympathies and condolences to our family, you needed to know more about Duncan than his stats.

I need the world to know that my little boy was strong and mighty. He fought for his life for a month, and although he eventually lost his battle, Jim and I are SO ridiculously proud to call him our son.

28 comments:

Katie said...

Monica, my thoughts are with you and Jim and Seth. I think Duncan is a beautiful name.

Stacy D said...

What a perfect name, Monica. I love it. Truly perfect. I am so thankful the Lord put that name on your heart as just the right fit for your sweet little guy.

Praying mightily for all of you...

~ Stacy

Jeanette "Frogster" said...

I love the name and looked up the meaning as soon as I read your post the other day. IT has incredible meaning!
Love you!

GodseySix said...

Hi, I found your blog by way of Jeanette's. I am terribly sorry for your loss and no words from this stranger can ease your pain, I'm sure. But please know that your family will be bathed in prayer tonight in the Godsey home. And may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus!

God bless,
Lindsay
Memphis, TN

Sara said...

A beautiful & strong baby obviously needed a beautiful & strong name. *hugs* Love to you!

Christy said...

Monica,

I have been praying for you and thinking of you so often these days. How special the meaning behind Duncan's name.

I would love to talk to you real soon. I just hopped on the computer and saw that you had a new post and wanted to leave a comment. I'm not sure if you are home yet, but know that if you need a place to stop on your way home, I would absolutely love to see you and visit with you.

I'm praying for you sweet friend.

Tricia said...

Thank you so much for sharing a little bit more about Duncan. My heart is really touched by the story of his life and name. What a precious little boy! We're praying for you and Jim. Love ya!

Angela said...

That is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Still praying for you!

Jenn said...

I absolutely love that name and now that I know what it means, I love it even more. What a perfect name for your little fighter. I am continuing to pray for you!

847christine said...

That's absolutely beautiful and perfect. Reading about your strong little boy sincerely touched my heart. He was lucky to have such an amazing mother.

Michelle Burdick said...

Monica, Duncan's name is very unique and beautiful. In our thoughts and prayers.

Katie said...

Came here from L&F. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Duncan. Your family is in my prayers.

bella grace photography said...

I have only recently found your blog by way of a blog before..she had a prayer request for your and your family and the news of your little Duncan.
What the most perfect name. I can only say words to help comfort but I am sure you have heard them all. But know here a mom of 6 is so touched by your story.
Tears flowing.
Prayers said.
Miracles happen.
Fighters fight.
God is Good.

Sarah said...

A beautiful and perfect name for a beautiful and perfect little boy.

We are continuing to pray for you friend. We all send our love.

PS. Christy said to call/email--her door is WIDE open!

Celine said...

I've followed your blog for some time now and I am so sorry for your loss. Having lost twins 7 weeks ago, I understand some of your pain and I am sending lots of positive vibes and prayers for you and family during this difficult time.

kdbou said...

It's a beautiful name, for a strong boy, because he comes from a strong family. Hang on to that strength. (((hugs))) (kelly&marty)

Gabriel and Penelope's Mama said...

Monica, you continue to be in my prayers. I'm so happy you found a name to fit him perfectly. (rachelxx05)

mandie lane said...

Not hard to figure out where Duncan's strong nature came from- his mommy is one of the strongest people I know. Love and prayers to you, M.

Kendra said...

How blessedly fitting...

Kaycie and Charley said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

I'm so sorry you must now following this path. I promise it will be the hardest thing you have every done, but I also promise it will change you in ways you would of never known...it will mold you into something you never imagined, and you will never know life could of existed otherwise. The road is hard, but somehow, rewarding in it's own way.

Bless you and yours...feel free to contact me. I've sort of met *stacy d* via a few other sites...and she'll be happy to lead you to the Butterfly Haven (link on my blog if you need it).

Many hugs and prayers.

Fiona said...

Monica,
As a proud Scot I was delighted to read you had given such a special wee baby a historic name. Duncan does mean warrior/ fighter and your wee baby lived up to his name.
Prayers are being here in Scotland for you and your family.

Lydia said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
What a perfect name for your little boy.

Cherry said...

Monica,

Kim told me about the loss of your aon and I am so so very sorry. I have been praying for you and your husband..

Charity

Brooke said...

Duncan is such a perfect name (it's Kellen's middle name, so I'm biased!). I have been thinking of you so much and want you to know that we care about you guys very much.

Jen said...

It is a beautiful name...I am so sorry for your loss.

amy (metz) walker said...

Monica, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...this post gave me chills! What a truly perfect name for you little one.

Amanda said...

Truly a fitting name for your precious fighter. How fitting. Glad in your time of great stress and sorrow, something so basic and important came together so perfect at just the right time.

Valerie said...

That is a beautiful story, Monica. Sending continued prayers.