I read a blog post yesterday written by a woman who delivered a stillborn son last September.
When people voiced that they were surprised to see her in church the weekend after her son's birth, she merely replied, "Where would I rather be?"
Oh, how I wish I felt that way this morning. I'm dressed and coiffed. I look like I'm ready for church, but I'm anything but.
I haven't been able to attend Sunday School or worship since Duncan's birth. And now that I can, I'm fearful of how I'll respond to the experience.
I'm not mad at God right now. I know Duncan's death isn't His "fault." He doesn't make mistakes. But I'm definitely feeling some distance in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, moreso on my part (well, I guess it's always on our part, isn't it?). I just have so many questions that I'm not getting answered, and knowing that I may never get answers just leaves me.....well, with not so much to say to Him.
It's 9:05. Time to head out. I'll let y'all know how it goes....