Friday, August 5, 2011

Missing my boy

Bombarded.

That’s the word.

I’m getting bombarded with images and instances and little things that are bringing my Duncan—boy to the forefront of my heart and mind.

Like going on vacation with Micah and Zeke, and watching brothers, only 15 months apart, interact.

Like holding Erin’s stuffed bunny, Bentlie, and realizing that she is about the exact length and weight as Duncan was – she fit in my two hands just the way he did.

Like opening a storybook for Erin, and seeing the dedication page: “For Duncan.”

Like realizing that I’ve put off scheduling my annual appointment with Dr. Morgan because, despite her care through Erin’s entire (healthy) pregnancy, I still associate her so much with the tragic end of Duncan’s pregnancy.

Point?

I don’t have one.  Just unloading my thoughts to the interweb….

9 comments:

Greema said...

When I'm having a bad day, I sit in my rocker and look at his picutre. I can tell him all about it and it makes me feel better.He tells me he is having so much fun and is waiting for the day we will be all together again. Miss you Duncan. Love and Prayers to Monica, JIm, Seth & Erin.

Jeanette said...

aww I was just thinking of you and your little guy in Heaven. You didn't get a chance to make a lot of memories with Duncan, but God is reminding you of the very little time you did get with him in so many ways. My heart still hurts for you, friend, and I pray for you in this area often. (hugs)

Heather @ A Little Hope in My Pocket said...

(hugs). My Isaac's EDD is approaching and all the people we knew due around us are preparing to welcome new ones into their families. My heart is breaking, and I know that every time I see one of these children in the future, I will think how Isaac should be playing alongside them. Prayers for you.

Mere said...

Aw, I know it won't get any easier for you as years go by, I hope it becomes less painful somehow. I remember reading your blog when you struggled with his loss and I cried my eyes out. Know that warm thoughts & wishes are being sent your way!

mandie lane said...

I'm sorry, sweetie. I think of him, too, and can only imagine how your heart must yearn for that son. You'll be together again one day, remember that, and until then he's smiling down on his beautiful mommy.

gottaluvboyz said...

Monica, I am so sorry. I hope it brings you some sort of comfort to know that I and so many others continue to think of your Duncan and pray for you. (((hugs)))

Kristin (kekis) said...

Little Duncan will always be with you. Reminders are everywhere, and while they must be so hard, try to be glad you have them vs. forgetting. Your hopes and dreams for him will remain. He is living out your wishes for him in Heaven, and someday you will join him in it. Love you.

Sara said...

He was in my heart our entire trip. They'll have such fun together some day, Mon. Love you!

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Love you my beautiful friend...and I'm praying...